i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
