just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
