i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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