you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
