its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
