I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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