five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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