Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
