You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
