with your own penis?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I stole a fireplace last night.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
