Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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