It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
