it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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