I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
