Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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