You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
