Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
