ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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