I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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