i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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