tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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