wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
