Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
