I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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