That's intense
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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