Do you still have your period?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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