GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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