he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
