5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm bleeding and have questions
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
