Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
