apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
