If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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