I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
