I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
