A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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