Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
