I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
