You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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