Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
