just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You smell like stripper and shame
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
