idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
