Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
