hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Green mimosas i think yes
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
