thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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