he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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