U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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