IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
