so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
