"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
