What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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