I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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