Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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