Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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