he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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