It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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