i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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