My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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