My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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