I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
