Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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