Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize