wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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