As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
