Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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