New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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