Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
