just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
