I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
