ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
