Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
