ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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