Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I have demons in me.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
