Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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